


It Wasn't Entirely Terrible

by MittenWraith



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angsty Schmoop, Dean Being Dean, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2015-07-28
Packaged: 2018-04-11 16:05:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4442255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MittenWraith/pseuds/MittenWraith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean, Sam, and Cas are working a case that takes them back to the neighborhood around Sandover Bridge and Steel, where they spent three awful weeks as Dean Smith and Sam Wesson, courtesy of that ass Zachariah. So of course they run into the one guy Dean hoped he'd never have to face again, the guy he'd essentially ditched when Zach returned their memories...</p><p>Prompted entirely by <a href="http://iwatchthepie.tumblr.com/post/125211106277/flyingfish1-f-ckyeahfutbol-bakasara">this post</a> on the Tumblr. I couldn't let this pass me by...</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Wasn't Entirely Terrible

The Winchesters (with Cas in tow, of course) pull into town, and it all seems a little strangely familiar. Then Dean drives past an upscale apartment building, and a strange memory twinges at the back of his mind.  _He’s pretty sure he’s been here before..._

A few miles down the road, they pass the Sandover building, and the strange sense of deja-vu is replaced with a full-on flashback to his time as Dean Smith. He gets all jittery behind the wheel and takes the first available turn that will lead them away from that part of town. He glances out the corner of his eye at his brother, and sees a similar look of creeping dread on Sam’s face when Sam steals a quick glance at him. It’s unspoken, but neither of them need to acknowledge the fact that they need to stay as far as possible from that building while working this new case.

Meanwhile, Cas is in the back seat, slightly confused. “Why are we turning, Dean? Isn’t the woman we need to interview meeting us down that other street in ten minutes? We’ll be late for our appointment.”

Sam and Dean simultaneously blurt out stuttered excuses. “We’ll have to reschedule.” And “I left my badge back at the motel.”

Cas insists. “I saw you put your badge in your pocket, Dean. And Why would we need to reschedule. Her information could help us track down the poltergeist more quickly. Time is of the essence, is it not?”

Dean realizes he’s going to have to come clean, and pulls the car to the side of the road. He and Sam exchange a meaningful look, and he takes a deep breath. “This is where we spent three weeks as Dean Smith and Sam Wesson, courtesy of that dick Zachariah. If we stay in that part of town, someone’s gonna recognize us.”

“Oh,” Cas replies, still completely confused about why this would affect their current case. “But, that was more than five years ago. I’m sure no one would connect you with that case now.”

Dean laughs uncomfortably under his breath, and shakes his head. “I don’t know, man, but I’m not risking it.”

Sam frowns at him, wondering what the hell his brother got up to in his three weeks as Dean Smith to have Dean Winchester this nervous about running into someone who’d remember him from that time. Someone might remember Sam as the guy who beat a phone to death with a fireplace poker before quitting his job, but as far as he knew the only person Dean submitted a resignation letter to was Zachariah himself, with no other metaphorical bridges burnt along the way.

“What, did you break some girl’s heart when Zach zapped us back to reality? Should we be on the lookout for women seeking revenge?”

“Um,” Dean looks out his window, turning his face so Sam and Cas can’t see him. “I guess it was something like that.”

“Jesus, Dean. You couldn’t go three weeks in a normal life without getting involved with some random lady?”

In a quiet voice, Dean forces out a sad laugh. “Yeah, you got me.”

Sam looks back at Cas, who is just as bewildered with Dean’s strange turn of mood, and shrugs. They’re still sitting at the side of the road, idling, when Dean’s startled out of his stupor by a rap on his window. He assumes it’s gonna be a cop asking them to move it along. They’re not exactly parked legally. He sighs and rolls down his window, ready with an excuse and an apology to talk his way out of a ticket.

The man bends down to the open window and peeks in. “Dean? Dean Smith? Oh my god! I haven’t seen you in, what, almost six years?” He looks shocked, and torn between thrilled and upset to see Dean. Both emotions flicker behind his blue eyes.

From the back seat, Cas squints at this stranger who bears more than a passing resemblance to himself, down to the messy hair and the bright blue tie. Dean sits stunned in the driver’s seat, gaping at this man-- the ONE PERSON above all others he hoped to avoid, especially while he had his brother and his... Cas in tow.

“Uh...” Dean struggles for some sort of way out of this conversation short of throwing the Impala into gear and flooring it, potentially running down the guy he spent three weeks with in some freaky alternate reality.  _No_ , he reminds himself,  _in this reality. This was all real. Fuck._

 _“_ So you didn’t drop off the face of the earth,” the guy at the window continues, getting bolder the more he notices Dean’s discomfort. “I thought we really had something, Dean, and then  _poof_  you were gone overnight. Was I that deluded into thinking you cared about me? Did it mean that little to you?” He was really on a roll now.

 _Shit_ , dean thinks, realizing there was no escaping this conversation. He mutters under his breath for Sam to call the lady they’re supposed to be meeting and let her know they’re gonna be a little late. He has to deal with this now.  _Why the hell does he have to deal with this at all?_

Sam gives Dean a curious look, glancing between this stranger and his brother, but nods and gets out his phone. Dean shuts off the car and opens the door. If he has to have this conversation, he’s at least doing it out of earshot of his brother and Cas. He’s so caught up in trying to give this man--  _his ex, who he abandoned without so much as a howdedoo_ , he thinks unhelpfully-- some sort of an excuse for disappearing so suddenly, that he doesn’t realize Cas has followed him out onto the sidewalk.

“Listen, man,” Dean says, trying to quell the other man’s growing anger. “I was in some sort of fugue state while I was here. I wasn’t myself, is what I’m trying to say. It, uh, was...” He trails off when he realizes he’s lost the other man’s attention, and he seems to be glaring at something just over Dean’s shoulder.

Dean turns to see what’s pissed the guy off now, and finds himself nose to nose with Cas, who’d been glaring right back at the other guy. He softens when he meets Dean’s eyes, and Cas says, “I’m sorry, Dean. Do you..,” he tilts his head to the side, feeling suddenly flustered. “I suppose you need a moment?”

Dean can’t be mad at Cas.  _He’s only looking out for me_ , Dean thinks. He sighs, rubbing one hand over his eyes, looking down at Cas’s stupid shoes shuffling nervously backward on the pavement. “Yeah, Cas. I’ll just be a second.” He reaches out and pats Cas’s shoulder reassuringly. He’s not in danger here, after all. He probably deserves whatever this guy is about to dish out anyway.

“If you insist, Dean.” Cas looks down at his feet, wondering if he has something stuck to his shoe because of how hard Dean’s staring. He exchanges another confused glance with Sam, and gets back in the car.

Sam’s just finished rescheduling their appointment, and hangs up as Cas closes the door and shifts over to the center of the back seat so he can have a clear view of Dean in case there’s any trouble. That man Dean’s talking to seems pretty angry, in Cas’s opinion.

“Do you know who that man is, Sam?” He finally asks, after a few minutes trying to puzzle out Dean’s heated exchange with the stranger.

Sam shakes his head absently, also refusing to take his eyes from his brother. “I think he was some guy Dean worked with at Sandover. I saw them talking around the office a few times. But that was when we didn’t know each other. I mean, our memories were wiped, and we didn’t really talk about anything besides the ghost we were trying to get rid of, you know? I guess they were friends?”

Just then, Cas and Sam see a change come over the strange man’s face. He’s gone from angry to resigned, and Sam’s pretty sure he’s crying a little bit. Dean glances nervously back over his shoulder at the car, and then straightens his spine and pulls the guy in for a hug. The man clings back, sniffling into Dean’s shoulder before pulling back enough to plant a quick kiss on Dean’s mouth. He pulls out of Dean’s hold, says goodbye, and gives an apologetic wave toward the car before hustling away down the street.

As soon as the guy’s gone, Dean slumps against the nearest wall, still facing away from the car. Sam blinks, and then shoots a wide-eyed glance back at Cas, who’s still laser-focused on Dean.

Cas slips quietly out of the car, and approaches Dean like he would a cornered wild animal, not knowing what to expect after the strange scene on the sidewalk. “Dean?”

Dean sighs, covertly wiping away a tear of his own, before composing his face into something he hopes resembles his usual confident smirk, but falls far short.

“Is everything okay, Dean?” Cas prompts again, risking a step closer to his friend.

“Yeah, Cas. It’s fine,” Dean replies, holding a hand out as if he wanted to reach for Cas, before letting it drop lamely back to his side.

Cas notices the gesture, and takes a step closer. “I take it you and he had some sort of relationship?”

Dean laughs, still unable to meet Cas’s eyes. “Yeah, you could say that.”

“And you seemed to...” Cas struggles to come up with an accurate way to describe Dean’s feelings for this man he’d just kissed. “You seemed to miss him, too.”

Dean thinks about denying it and just getting on with their day like nothing ever happened, but seeing that man brought a lot of things to the surface he’d been struggling to keep buried for years. He’d promised a fucking  _priest_ , a priest who’d been killed by a ghost just a few minutes later, that he’d deal with this shit, and it was time to man up and deal with it, for better or worse.

“I... yeah,” He says to Cas’s tie, before growing a pair and looking up into his friend’s face. Oddly enough, the compassion in Cas’s eyes gives him the courage to go on. “Yeah, I guess I did. But the me he knew was a lie. I’m not Dean Smith, and I couldn’t give him a relationship with that person now.”

“Dean,” Cas replies with more than a little sadness creeping into his voice, “You are still the same person at your core. Zachariah may have stolen your memories for the time you knew that man, but he didn’t change who you were as a person. If you want, Sam and I can finish the interview, if you’d like to find him and... reconnect?” Cas barely manages to grind out the final words as they catch in his throat.

It’s Dean who steps closer this time, so he’s toe to toe with Cas. He clears his throat, and says in a hushed voice just for Cas’s ears. “I may have told him I was involved with someone else.”

Cas squints at Dean, “But you aren’t. Are you?”

Dean shrugs and tentatively reaches up with one shaking hand, latching on to the lapel of Cas’s fed jacket, and mutters, “Maybe I should be.”

Cas’s eyes widen, and he finds himself leaning unconsciously into Dean’s touch. “What...”

Dean cuts him off. “God, Cas. I forgot about him completely, but at the time, I was totally into him. Something about him pinged in my brain, and being around him felt comfortable and... safe. I don’t even know. None of it feels real anymore. He sorta reminded me of you,” he trailed off.

Cas only takes a second to recover from his surprise at Dean’s admission. “You believe you bonded with this man because, on some level, he reminded you of me?”

“I didn’t bond with him, Cas,” Dean snorts, breaking out of the staring match with Cas. “Shit. How do I even explain it? We went out a few times. Or maybe more than a few times.”

Cas notices the slight blush on Dean’s face, and draws the conclusion. “You were lovers.”

“Jesus, Cas,” Dean huffs, but then relents. “Yeah.”

“And he reminded you of me.” Cas puts the final nail in Dean’s coffin.

Dean squirms, knowing Cas has finally put the whole puzzle together. “Yeah.”

Instead of taking a step back and pulling away from Dean like he expects, Cas leans in and rests his forehead against Dean’s.

“Dean, do you want to do those things with me? Go out, and... and be lovers?”

Dean sighs, squeezing his eyes closed before opening them and looking directly at Cas. “I wouldn’t say no to that.”

Cas just nods, a slight smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, before leaning in and kissing Dean gently on the lips. It’s nothing more than a soft press, and then he’s resting his forehead against Dean’s again. “Was that an acceptable offer, then?”

Dean blinks, waiting for his brain to kick back online and his heart to start beating properly again. He clears his throat, and then wraps his arms around Cas, drawing him close to give him a proper kiss. He tries to shove more than five years worth of unspoken feelings into Cas’s mouth. When he pulls away, a little breathless and shaky, he replies, “Only if that’s an acceptable... acceptance.”

Cas grins at him, and gives him one last quick kiss, before the head back to the car to continue their current case. There’ll be more time for further negotiations when their poltergeist is laid to rest.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! Thanks for reading. I'm [mittensmorgul](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com) on the Tumblr, in case you want to come say hi.


End file.
